Labyrinth, Boosh Style
by chugirl2526
Summary: After Vince annoys him too much with songs from the film 'Labyrinth', Howard finally yels at Vince and tells him to grow up. Vince must take a quest to defeat the goblin king and save Howard. contains Vince/OC slash.
1. Chapter 1

Labyrinth, Boosh Style.

Summery- After Vince annoys him too much with songs from the film 'Labyrinth', Howard finally yels at Vince and tells him to grow up. Vince then wishes the goblins will take him away, which results in Howard's dissappearence and a quest to defeat the goblin king. Next in my crossover stories.

Disclaimer- Noel and Julian owns the Boosh, and Jim Henson owns Labyrinth. Lucky sods.

Author's Notes- Now I might say something bad about taxi drivers in this chapter, but I'm sorry if any taxi drivers reading this is offended lol.

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Chapter One- The Film and The Wish.

Vince Noir ran excitedly out of the cinema into the star filled dark sky. His best friend Howard Moon followed him out.

"That was a great film. Remind me to get it on DVD next time I'm up Camden" They had just finished watching a rerun of 'Labyrinth'.

"It was alright, I suppose" Howard answered back.

"No way, there must have been a bit of the film you did like?" Vince asked.

Howard looked thoughtful for a minute "I suppose when that girl defeats the goblin king was good" He smirked and he tried then to hold a laugh in when he saw the disbeliving face of Vince, but the goth once again smiled.

"He wasn't really defeated. He just turned into that owl creature and flew off. Besides, Bowie was a fashion genius in that film, with his hair and clothes. And his singing was great too"

Howard rolled his eyes and looked at the sky to see it covered in dark clouds and thunderm The first few drops of the storm came down "We better get back, before Naboo locks us out again for the night".

They made their way to the nearest and Howard checked the times "What time is it, little man?"

Vince was watching, in fear for his hair, the rain coming down harder, then glanced down at his Gary Numan watch "About eleven, Howard"

"You're joking right? We've just missed the last bus" Howard pinched the bridge of his nose, annoyed.

"What are we gonna do now?" Vince asked.

"We could call a taxi" Howard suggested.

"No way, have you seen some of the perverted drivers you get these days? He'd probably drop you off, then drive off with me and give me a teriffic bumming" Vince said in fear, looking at Howard like he said the stupidest thing ever.

"It's either that or we take our chances with the storm- hang on, why wouldn't he have me?" Howard asked.

"He might not like the smokey hair and small eyes" Vince joked.

"How dare you" Howard shot back, hurt "He might be one of those that isn't picky"

Vince laughed and looked back into the rain "Let's go then" He then shot of into the wet, with a disbeliving Howard following him. As they ran, with Vince cursing everytime he got his favourite red boots in a puddle, lightening lit up the sky and the streets. They finally got to the flat and surprise, Naboo had locked the door.

"Now what?" Howard asked, getting more and more annoyed. Vince just smiled and pulled a hair pin out of his raven locks, then picked the flat door lock. Howard just looked in amazement as his friend let them in.

"What? I had to learn something off the streets growing up" Vince smiled to him. Once inside, the goth took his red boots off and left them next to the heater to dry. He then went upstairs to change his hair, while Howard went into the kitchen and started drying his hair withtowel on the side and started making two cups of teas.

Five minutes later and after endless amounts of root booster and goth juice, Vince made his way downstairs singing 'Underground' from the film, getting on Howard's nerves "Vince, please shut up about that stupid film, that stupic song and that stupid David Bowie" He yelled. Vince looked shocked, hurt and sad, then angry in about ten seconds.

"None of it's stupid. Just because you didn't like it, dosen't mean I can't. I wish it was real so I could wish you away to the labyrinth"

Howard rolled his eyes and made his way up the stairs, with Vince following him "Listen, it's not real and it'll never be real!"

"Oh yeah, watch this. Goblin king, goblin king, take this friend far away from me" The flat was quiet, no magic happened and Howard looked smug.

"See? Now I'm going to bed. You should do the same and just grow up already, it'll never be really only in your colourful and warped imagination" Howard then retreated to his room, leaving the goth shocked, angry and hurt.

"I wish the goblins did take you away, right now" He said quietly before walking to his own room. He stopped when he heard a struggling sound coming from his friend's room, his anger slipping away and turning into fear. Vince opened the door to reveal...no-one.

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There we go, enjoy from chugirl2526.


	2. Chapter 2

Labyrinth, Boosh Style.

Summery- After Vince annoys him too much with songs from the film 'Labyrinth', Howard finally yells at Vince and tells him to grow up. Vince then wishes the goblins will take him away, which results in Howard's disappearence and a quest to defeat the goblin king. Next in my crossover stories.

Disclaimer- Noel and Julian owns the Boosh, and Jim Henson owns Labyrinth. Lucky sods.

Author's Notes- Right, many of you wanted this story up and I only got two reviews lol Thank you Beechwood and violence4 for your reviews, but I know you lot were probably waiting for this chapter instead lol.

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Chapter Two- Jareth, Hoggle and the Beginning of the Quest.

Walking deeper into the bedroom, Vince heard rustling noises coming from the wardrobe, under the bed and behind the cupboards. The windows then blew open, making raindrops blow inside and soak the young goth. A large snowy owl flew in and started attacking Vince, flapping it's wings around his hair, making him try and shoo it away.

It then flew back to the window, where a man with large, bushy blong hair and wearing all black clothes with a black cloak was standing. Vince could only stared with shock and amazement and couldn't find any words to say to the man, until... "You're him, arn't you?"

The man smirked at Vince "Yes, I am"

The goth smiled with excitement "I knew it, you're David Bowie aren't you?"

The stranger's smile dropped "Who is that? No, I am Jareth, the goblin king"

Vince then thought back to the film, his wish must have come true! Howard had gone to the labyrinth and it was all his fault "I want my mate back, please give him back"

"Whats said is said" Jareth replied, looking quite smug.

"I was only joking, mate. Now where is he?" Vince retailiated.

"You know perfectly well where he is" The king said, still smug "Now go back to your room, play with your fashion and clothes, and forget about your friend".

"I can't, give him back" Vince nearly yelled in annoyance.

"I've bought you a gift" Jareth said.

"What is it?" Vince asked, his curiousity getting the better of him. Jareth bought out of his pocket a small see-though ball "It's a crystal, nothing more. But if you turn it this way, you can see all your dreams. If you want it, then forget about your friend"

Vince was very tempted to take the crystal, he reached out for it, but he stopped when he remembered all the good times he and Howard had and how much his mate stuck by him- whenever he had hangovers, when he had a strop when he found out topshop was closing for redecorating for four weeks. Sure he might piss Howard off sometimes, but they always made up in the end, now matter how childish the arguement "I can't. It's genius and all that, but I just want him back"

Jareth then looked annoyed "Vince, don't defy me" The crystal then turned into a snake, which he threw at the young goth. Vince paniced and threw the snake to the floor, which turned into a goblin and ran off "You're no match for me"

"No, I need Howard back" Vince yelled, defiant.

Jareth swept his arm and the room transformed in a desert scene. A large maze was in front of Vince, with a large castle in the middle "He's there in my castle. Do you still want to find him?" Jareth asked, amused.

"It dosen't look that far" Vince said.

"It's further then you think" Jareth stepped aside to reveal a clock with 13 numbers on the face "You have 13 hours to solve my labyrinth and get your friend back before he becomes one of us...forever" Then he disappeared into thin air.

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Vince gasped in shocked as his saw Jareth go, then turned to see his adventure before him. Looking down, he saw in shock his favourite boots were back on his feet, perfectly dry "Come on then feet, let's get moing" He makes his way down the hill he was on and made his way to the entrance of the maze.

A small man was standing by a pool, having what looked like a wee. Vince coughed loudly "Oi, mate!" which startled the smaller man.

"Excuse me- oh it's you" He then picked up some sort of old spray can and walked towards the wall, where fairies were flying around the plants growing.

"Can you help get into the labyrinth please?" Vince asked, watching as the dwarf sprayed down the small sprites "Hey don't do that!" He then scooped up the fairy "You look alright- ow!"

The small man looked up from his work to see the goth sucking his thumb "The little git bit me!"

"Well, what did you think they do?" Vince pondered for a minute "I dunno, magic and wish granting really.

"Shows what you know. 58" The dwarf said, spraying another fairy.

"You are you then?" Vince asked "I'm Hoggle and who are you?"

"I'm Vince Noir, rock and roll star" Hoggle smirked "That's what I thought"

"Do you know where the door to this place is?" The goth asked "Maybe" Hoggle teased.

"Well, where is it?"

"Where's what?" Vince was getting pretty annoyed now "Where's the bloody door to the labyrinth?"

"Ok, you gets in there" Hoggle to pointed to a huge door, right behind Vince "Thanks" The goth muttered quietly, making his way though the door. Looking down one lane was nothing but bricks, stonces and plants, down the other the same.

"Which way you going?" Hoggle said, making Vince jump "Left or right?"

"Dunno, which way would you go?" The dwarf looked both ways "I wouldn't go either way"

"You're not helping, just leave me alone now" Vince yelled, his annoyance levels pretty higher.

"Fine then. Even if you find the centre of this labyrinth, you'll never find your way out" Hoggle yelled back, making the door slam behind him, leaving Vince alone.

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There we go bigger chapter, maybe more reviews now? please. from chugirl2526.


	3. Chapter 3

Labyrinth, Boosh Style.

Summery- After Vince annoys him too much with songs from the film 'Labyrinth', Howard finally yells at Vince and tells him to grow up. Vince then wishes the goblins will take him away, which results in Howard's disappearence and a quest to defeat the goblin king. Next in my crossover stories.

Disclaimer- Noel and Julian owns the Boosh, and Jim Henson owns Labyrinth. Lucky sods.

Author's Notes- Right, many of you wanted this story up and I only got two reviews lol Thank you Beechwood and violence4 for your reviews, but I know you lot were probably waiting for this chapter instead lol.

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Chapter Three- The Oubilette.

Vince glanced down on of the paths, a slight mist covering the rocky ground and ivy climbing up the dreary walls. He started walking slowly down, then sped up quickly for five minutes. One of the heels snapped off his boots and he fell over roots sticking out the ground five times, getting him frustrated.

"This isn't really a labyrinth, there's no bloody turns. Why did I make that stupid wish?" he moaned to himself, not realising there was a blue furry worm next to him on a brick sticking out the wall, wearing the cutest little red scarf.

"'Allo" It said, startling Vince. It spoke in a slight cockney accent that he could relate too.

"Wow, a talking worm, cool. Do you know anyway through this labyrinth?"

"Me? No, I'm just a worm. Come inside and meet the missus and have some tea" The worm indicates to a hole he stood in front of.

"I can't mate, I have to find my mate Howard. I just can't find any openings or ways out of here" Vince said, wondering two things. One: how the hell he would get into the hole of the worm's home and two: whether there would be cake and buscuits with the tea.

"You're not looking properly, the place is full of openings" The worm said.

"Where are they then?" Vince asked, his child like curiousity getting to him.

"Right in front of you, now come inside and have a cup of tea" Vince just looked at him funny.

"No there isn't, that's just a wall in front of us" He nearly yelled annoyed.

"Just walk through it, you'll see what I mean. Just remember never take anything for granted, things aren't always want they seem" The goth got up and walked slowly towards the wall, his arms out in front of him. He close his eyes expecting an impact, but was shocked when he opened his eyes to see his body going through the wall.

"Hey, you were right, thanks mate" Vince walked off down another path, but was stopped by the worm "Don't go down that way, never go down that way" Vince nodded his thanks and made his way down the other path.

"If that young lady keep going down that first path, she would have got straight to the castle" The worm said to himself, skaing his head before going into his home.

Vince kept walking, well limping because of his one heeled boot, until he could see the huge castle in the middle of the labyrinth "Don't worry Howard, I'm coming"

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Inside the castle, Howard was awakening on a large bed, in a large room. Colourful tapestries hung from the walls, lit by firey torches. A chest of drawers sat in one corner of the room, next to what looked to by an old wooden writers desk. A wardrobe was next to a window, that was letting rays of sunshine into the room, giving it an innocent look.

Howard got up and went over to the window to see where he was. Outside, the sun was lighting up the large labyrinth, making it seem it went on for miles. Below the window straight down, he could see small goblins walking around, in and out of small houses, some wearing armour. He moved away from the window to explore the rest of his room.

The door opened, making him jump. Howard turned to see a blond haired man wearing a alrge dark outift, then a memory clicked in his mind "You're David Bowie, aren't you?"

"No, I'm Jareth" The man said, a bit annoyed, but he covered that up with a smile "I hope you are enjoying your room and surroundings, you'll be hear for quite awhile until your friend comes for you"

"Vince won't come for me, not after I yelled at him like that" Howard answered back, a bit guilty.

"Really? Because I've meet this...Vince and I must say, he would make an excellent heir to my labyrinth. Shame that he has to be so loyal to you. He is actually here in my maze, coming to get you back" Jareth answered, a sly grin on his face.

"What, Vince? Here? For me?" Howard asked, confused. Jareth's smile widen as he left the room, his message clear now.

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Vince made his way towards what he was hoping would be the castle, but was just getting even futher away from it. Soon he was facing two doors, with twin headed dogs, hiding behind blue and red shields guarding the doors.

"Alright, I'm Vince. Who are you guys?" The dog heads just stared at him until the first one spoke "We are the keepers of these doors. One of them leads to the castle, but one of them leads to certain death"

Vince just stared at them and turned to go back the other way he came, only to find the wall closed behind him "For the love of- this isn't fair" He yelled, annoyed.

"Better pick one of these doors then" A second dog head said, making the others laugh "But we can't tell you which door leads to what, you have to guess this yourself"

Vince, not excatly the brightest star in the sky, turned back to them and desided to take them up "Alright then, but don't I get a clue or something?"

"You can only ask the bottom heads, but I of them lies and one always tells the truth" Said the first head.

"Alright, you, which door is it?" Vince asked the head below the first head.

"Believe me, I always tell the truth" It answered.

"No you don't, you always lie" Shouted the forth head

Vince was losing his patience fast and tried working it out for himself "Right so if you told the truth, then you'd answer this question. Would he say yes?"

"...Yes" The third head answered.

"Right, so then his door must lead to the castle" Vince said, working it out.

"How'd would you know that's right?" The second head asked.

"Well, if he was telling the truth, then you would be lying and the answer would be no. But if you were telling the truth, then he'd be lying and the answer would still be no. Am I getting close?" Vince asked, getting a bit confused by his own explaination.

"I don't know, we've never got it" All the heads laughed, but Vince smiled as he made his way towards the fisrt and third dog heads.

"No, I've got it now. This is getting more eaiser now" He opened the door and started making his way down the pathway "I must be getting smarterrr..."

He screamed as he fell down the hole that appeared under his feet, knocking past gray rocks sticking out the wall. The rocks then turned into hands and grabbed out at him, catching his arms and legs "Hey, don't touch my hair. Get off, help!" Vince yelled.

"We are helping, we're helping hands" The strange creatures spoke "Now up or down?"

"Better go down while I'm at it" Vince desided, screaming once more as the hands let go. He fell into a large dark pit, with the hole being covered by a door.

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Jareth watched from his crystal ball as Vince got up and brushed himself down "He's in the oubliette" The goblins around him laughed, until he raised a hand to silence them "He should have gave up by now, that dwarf had better take him back to the beginning. Then he'll give up when he realises he has to do it all over again" He laughed as the picture faded away.

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I'm sorry this chapter took so long, but I have other slash stories in the pipeline :) maybe a sequal to my snow story, but remember to click on that little gray button in the corner and review all critisims welcome :) from chugirl2526.


	4. Chapter 4

Labyrinth, Boosh Style.

Summery- After Vince annoys him too much with songs from the film 'Labyrinth', Howard finally yells at Vince and tells him to grow up. Vince then wishes the goblins will take him away, which results in Howard's disappearence and a quest to defeat the goblin king. Next in my crossover stories.

Disclaimer- Noel and Julian owns the Boosh, and Jim Henson owns Labyrinth. Lucky sods.

Author's Notes- Right, many of you wanted this story to have slash, so you twisted my arm. I'll do Jareth/Vince slash, but it's still gonna be a Vince/Howard friendship story ok? lol Oh ad Vince won't fancy Jareth, Jareth will just fancy Vince instea if that makes any sense lol.

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Chapter Four- The Cleaners.

Jareth watched the crystal ball when he was finally alone, seeing Vince in the dark hole still, a ray of light his only way of seeing the goth. He waved his hand over the ball to make in move in towards Vince's features.

Jareth saw a pointed face, with pointed cheeks and full lips. His blue eyes shined like stars in the lights, the confused look in them made the goblin king shudder in arousement. Vince's raven longish hair also shined in the ray of light, making him look like a lost angel who fell to Earth. The goth's thin body was covered in tight clothing, making Jareth's imagination run wild with excitement of what would be underneath.

"This one will make a prefect partner from my kingdom" Jareth smiled to himself "He will become my partner, even if I have to use force" He then turned off the image when he heard his goblin subjects come back from eating.

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Vince looked around and saw he was surrounded by... rocks, stones and oh, more rocks. There was no way out except above and there was no way he was going back this way. He heard a noise in the corner of the cave and saw it was the dwarf from before, at the beginning of this godforsaking maze.

"Hey, it's you...Hoggle" Vince smiled, but the dwarf didn't smile back.

"I thought you were in trouble, so I came to help you" Hoggle said.

"Great, I need a way out of here" Vince suggested, hoping Hoggle would get the clue.

"Well, as you can see there's no doors here, no way out" He waved his hand around the room, making his point "This is called an oubliette. It's a place where they put people to forget about them" Vince looked in dispair at his situation "So, there's no way out?"

"There is a shortcut, but it's out of the labyrinth" Hoggle offered, but Vince just shook his head "No thanks, I have to find Howard, he needs me" He notised the hoop of jewels around Hoggle's belt.

"You like jewellery, right?" Vince asked, watching as the dwarf's hands went straight to his belongings "Because if you help me, I'll give you this" He took of a small silver ring with a red stone in it from off his pinky finger, he mainly bought it on a whim because he loved the colour. But it bought Hoggle's attention "You like it?"

"It's so-so" Hoggle answered, annoying Vince. So he went behind the dwarf and nicked the bracklet of jewels "Ha-ha, you want them back, you help me" He said, dancing around the cave avoiding Hoggle and laughing.

"Alright fine then, only cause i want my jewels back" Hoggle went over and got a board of wood and pressed it againest the wall, Vince watched fasinated. Hoggle opened the door to reveal a flight of stairs going upwards "There we got then" Vince smiled as they both went up the stairs and past some unsual statues.

"Beware, beware!" "Turn back while you can!" "Don't go on!" was soem of the sayinf coming from these satutes with faces, their large stone mouths opening and closing slwoly while speaking.

"Don't mind them, they're just false alarms" Hoggle explained, as Vince looked a bit scared at the warnings. They got to a long brick tunnel, that looked like it would go on forever. They then moved their feet as a crystal ball rolled along the floor and floated into a begger goblin's cup, But Vince could guess who it was really by that crystal.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" The begger spoke, then threw off the disguise to reveal himself as Jareth "Hello Hedgewart" The dwarf looked away shamefully, but Vince stepped in front of him, annoyed.

"His name is Hoggle, remember it!" Jareth smiled as he stepped closer to the goth "I do remember you though, young Vince" He raised his hand and placed it on Vince's cheek, marveling at the smoothness of the skin. It was just as he thought, but his thoughts were broken as Vince walked away from him.

"So then Hoggle, why are you helping him?" The dwarf looked scared at the question.

"I was helping him, by taking him back to the entrance of the labyrinth, your majesty" Hoggle expalined, earning a disbelieving look from Vince.

"Good because if you were betraying me, I will dip you headfirst in the bog of eternal stench" This bought a look of horror on Hoggle's face.

"And you vince, how are you enjoying my labyrinth?" The goth looked at him coolly and answered "It's quite easy, I'll get Howard back in no time"

"Well then, you won't mind if I do this then" Jareth waved his hand and a huge clock appeared, moving time forwards about five hours, giving Vince just six hours to find Howard.

"That's not fair" Vince said, earning himself an amused look of the goblin king "No, nothing is ever fair, is it?" He replied, his voice getting husky as he pulled a crystal ball out of his sleeve "Let's see how you deal with this 'quite easy' challenge" He threw it down the tunnel and it turned into a huge machine, powered by two goblins. It had what looked like drills spinning around the front and was heading straight for them.

Vince stared in horror as it was getting closer, but got even more scared when Jareth put his arms around his waist, pulling him closer to his body heat. The goth would have enjoyed this, if the person holding him wasn't the guy who kidnapped his best mate "I will have you for myself, soon enough..." Jareth's hot breath went into his ear as he spoke, making Vince shudder in horror. Then the king has disappeared and Vince saw that Hoggle was pulling his hand.

"It's the cleaners, we have to go now!" They both ran down the corridor, but soon reached a dead end. Hoggle found a fake wall though and they both started pounding on it, then it fell down taking them both with it and the cleaners brushed past them, taking the dead end down with them.

"Well, you certainly got his attention" Hoggle joked, then spotted a ladder going upwards. He went first and Vince followed close behind "I can't believe i'm following you, you tried to take me back to the start" The goth said, annoyed. His nerves were getting frayed- he had half his original time to find Howard, he was nearly tricked again and now he had a randy goblin king wanting him for his partner. It just wasn't his day.

"I just told him that to throw him off the scent" Hoggle replied calmly "How can I trust you?" Vince asked.

"Let me say this- what choice do you have?" Vince shrugged as best as he could holding onto a ladder "You're right, no way out except this way"

"Now, take my position. I am a coward, Jareth scares me. No-one would be so brave if he threatened you with the bog of eternal stench" Hoggle continued.

"Is that all it does? Smell?" Vince asked, curious.

"If you put even a foot in the bog, you'll smell forever. Nothing would get the smell off for life" He stopped and lifted a lid off the opening to the way out, letting sunshine wash on them.

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Howard paced around his room, wondering how Vince was doing. He tried to find a way to escape, but there was no way out, so instead he took to writing a diary of his stay here.

_Hour Six- still in this room. Very boring, no-one comes to see me except one goblin would gave me food. Wouldn't touch it in case of poison, so now I'm starving. I hope Vince is alright, I didn't mean to shout at him like that, I know he's got sensitive feelings, but I was just tired. That pain in the ass king better not go near or hurt Vince in any way or else- or else- I don't know what to do yet, but when I do, it won't be pretty._

_From Howard T.J Moon._

He'd just finished his entry when the door opened and Jareth walked in, looking like the cat that nearly got the cream "Where's Vince? What have you done to him?"

"I haven't done anything, I'm just helping him on his way" Teh king walked over to the window and looked out at his maze "He is a very handsome fellow, isn't he?"

The question caught Howard by surprise "Why? Don't you dare go near him, you sick pervert" He yelled. Jareth just smiled and offered Howard a glass of wine he made appear while he was at the window "Why don't you have this drink? If you have it, I promise not to go near Vince again"

Howard didn't trust him, but drank the wine in the hopes it would bind the promise. When he'd finsihed every drop, a pain in his body made him drop the goblet. He gasped for air as he made his way over to the bed, lying down and doubling up in pain. After a minute, the pains went and he stared up at the ceiling, like he was in a trance.

Jareth went over and sat next to him on the bed "Now you will tell me evrything about your little friend, leave no detail out" So Howard had to tell him everything- how Vince could talk to animals, about him being an orphan and how he came to work at the zoo where they met, all of Vince's favourit things. When Jareth had enough infomation, he shut Howard up and told him to sleep.

He walked out of the room and ordered the goblin guard outside the room to keep the jazz mavarick alive, Vince wouldn't be with him if not.

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Next chapter, i'm getting back into writing this story now lol it may be short, but there's slash so that should make up for it :) from chugirl2526.


	5. Chapter 5

Labyrinth, Boosh Style.

Summery- After Vince annoys him too much with songs from the film 'Labyrinth', Howard finally yells at Vince and tells him to grow up. Vince then wishes the goblins will take him away, which results in Howard's disappearence and a quest to defeat the goblin king. Next in my crossover stories.

Disclaimer- Noel and Julian owns the Boosh, and Jim Henson owns Labyrinth. Lucky sods.

Author's Notes- Right, many of you wanted this story to have slash, so you twisted my arm. I'll do Jareth/Vince slash, but it's still gonna be a Vince/Howard friendship story ok? lol Oh ad Vince won't fancy Jareth, Jareth will just fancy Vince instead if that makes any sense lol.

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Chapter Five- Ludo and the Knockers.

Jareth cursed his bad luck when he returned to his throne room. He was so close to getting what was his, close to getting that first kiss that would seal his beliefs that the goth was the one, but he wanted Vince to have a fair chance at his challenge. Besides, it wouldn't be long now, even if Vince didn't get to the castle on time, he would let his friend go free and the goth would have to stay here with him forever.

He closed his eyes as he remembered the closeness of the goth and his body heat seaping into his own body, a playful smile on his face as he thought. He had a plan though to make sure Vince would be his for good, without him getting to the castle.

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Vince and Hoggle stepped out of a brass vase, on top of a step with green hedges surrounding them. The castle was still far away in the centre.

"Here we are now, you're on your own" Hoggle said, moving in another direction. Vince turned to him confused "You said you'd help me"

"I did, I took you as far as I would go. And I did" Vince looked shocked at his kinda-friend, but remember his bartering chip. He held up the bracelet of jewels that previously belonged to the dwarf.

"Well, maybe you don't need these then?" The goth teased.

"Them's mine, give them back" Hoggle demanded, chasing after Vince. They were interupted though by an old man, quite short who was walking to a stone seat. He was wearing brown rags and a hat shaped like a bird on his head, his white beard shining in the sunlight.

"Hey, mate. Can you help me?" Vince asked, going over to him and wishing he could give this guy fashion advice.

"Oh, a young girl. And who is this with you?" The wiseman indicated to Hoggle.

"He's my friend, he's helping me too" Vince smiled at the dwarf, who looked at him surprised.

"And what can I do for you?" The old guy asked again, his hat looking around at the surroundings.

"I need to get to the castle, my mate is being held captive by that mad horny goblin king. You know how to get there?" Vince explained in near enough one breath.

The wiseman thought about this question for a minute "You want to get to the castle?"

"How's that for brainpower?" The bird-hat asked, maing Vince smile.

"Shut up! Now, young lady, the way forwards is soemtimes the way back" The old man suggested.

"Will you listen to this crap?" The bird-hat interupted again "Shut up!"

"Now, quite often it seems we're not getting anywhere, when in fact..." The wiseman started.

"...We are" The bird-hat finished.

"Well, I'm not getting anywhere now" Vince sighed annoyed "Join the club!" The hat said, glancing down at his now sleeping owner "I think that's your lot, please left a little something in the little box" The old guy still rattled a box he was holding in his hand to prove the point.

Vince raised the bracelet of jewels up, until "Don't you dare, them's mine!" Hoggle yelled out. The goth then put his hands around his neck and realesed the catch on one of his necklaces, one of his favourites. It was a blue lightening bolt on a thin silver chain, Howard got it him for his birthday last year "If it'll help me get my mate back, I guess you can have this" He said as he dropped it into the box.

The hat nodded his thanks, and Vince and Hoggle walked in the opposite direction of them "Why did you say I was your friend anyway?" Hoggle asked.

"Because you are. I ain't got many here, you're not excaly the greatest mate so far, but you're the only one I've got here so far" Vince smiled at him, making the dwarf nearly smile "I ain't never been someone's friend before"

They then heard a large roaring sound and Hoggle turned on his tail and ran "Goodbye friend"

Vince watched him go "You bloody coward come back" He turned back to the sounds of painful roars "I'm not afraid, things aren't always what they seem here" he said to himself, remembering what the worm told him. he turned around a corner and saw a large orange creature hanging by his ankle from a rope in a tree, four goblins on mutated chickens were torturing it with creatures with large mouths on the end of sticks.

_'If only I had something to throw at them' _Vince thought to himself. The creature caught sight of him and roared loudly again, but not from pain. The goth then motised out of the corner of his eye a rock roll by his feet, he lifted it up and threw it at one of the goblin guards, making it's helmet spin round and obstruct it's view.

He did this another four times until all the guards had ran off in any direction, making their way from their unknown enemy. Vince then walked over to the orange creature, but nearly got his head knocked off as it struggled "Hey, watch it. I'm trying to help you here!" Vince nearly yelled, making the creature stop.

"Ludo want down" The creature said, weakly. Vince took pity on it "Yeah alright then. Ludo's your name then, cool" He untied the rope holding Ludo to the tree and the creature fell to the ground with a thump "Oh sorry, you alright?"

The creature got up and nodded yes "Friend?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm your friend now. Name's Vince, and you remind me very much of my other mate Bollo" The goth smiled "Hey, do you know how to get to the castle?" He asked, hopefully.

Ludo thought for a moment "Er...no" Vince just smiled and shook his head "You don't know either, I wonder if anyone does"

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Hoggle was walking past a small stream with rocks and plants sticking out of the barren ground, muttering to himself.

"Get through the labyrinth? One thing's for sure, he'll never get through the labyrinth"

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Vince turned to see two doors that weren't there before "Where'd they come from?" He asked Ludo "Well, which should we pick?"

"It very rude to stare you know" One of the ugly door knockers spoke, it had the handle in his ears.

"Sorry, just wondering what door to choose" Vince said back.

The other knocker had his handle in his mouth and mumbled something to the goth "Don't talk with your mouth full" The first knocker yelled out.

Vince had enough and pulled the handle out of the second knocker's mouth "What did you say?"

"That feels so good to get that out of my mouth. I was just saying it's no good talking to him, he's deaf as a post" Vince rolled his eyes in annoyance "Where do these doors lead?"

"We don't know, we're just the knockers" Vince growled in annoyance "How do I get through then?"

"Knock and the door will open" The second knocker answered. Vince desided which door he wanted to go through and turned to get the handle off Ludo, only to find it in the creature's mouth "Give it back now, Ludo" He said, as he got it back and tried putting it back into the second knocker's mouth.

"I'm not having that back in my mouth" It said, rudely.

"But I want to knock" Vince begged, but the knocker was still refusing. So he got hold of the large nose and held on until the knocker had to breath through his mouth and pushed the handle back, making the knocker givbe him a dark look. Vince just smiled smugly as he knocked the door open and he and Ludo ventured into the darkness behind.

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Another short chapter I know, but a little slash to make up for it thanks for reviewing everyone from chugirl2526.


	6. Chapter 6

Labyrinth, Boosh Style.

Summery- After Vince annoys him too much with songs from the film 'Labyrinth', Howard finally yells at Vince and tells him to grow up. Vince then wishes the goblins will take him away, which results in Howard's disappearence and a quest to defeat the goblin king. Next in my crossover stories.

Disclaimer- Noel and Julian owns the Boosh, and Jim Henson owns Labyrinth. Lucky sods.

Author's Notes- Vince won't fancy Jareth, Jareth will just fancy Vince instead if that makes any sense lol. Also I wanted to put that 'chilly down' song in because it kinda suits Vince's laidback nature :)

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Chapter Six- The Fireys and the Bog.

Vince and Ludo made their way through a dark forest. Birds and animals shrieked as they followed the path that was covered in twigs and small rocks.

"Ludo scared.." The huge creature moaned, darting his head back and forth, looking for unseen enemies.

"You can't really be scared, look at the size of you" Vince smiled at him "Come on now, there's nothing really to be scared off" He walked off again, not notising that Ludo has disappeared down some sort of pit. Notising the quietness, he turned around "Ludo? Ludo? Where are you?"

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Hoggle was still walking away from where Vince was until he heard someone shouting "Hoggle, help me!" He knew it was his friend and went back for him "I'm coming"

He spun around and saw Jareth, leaning againest a large rock "Well, well. And where do you think you're going?"

"Well, that young man gave me the slip before, but I hear him now and now I'm gonna lead him back to the beginning like you said" Hoggle explained quickly.

"Good, because I thought you were going to help him. But you wouldn't after all those warnings, right?" Jareth smiled at him.

"Me? No, not after all them. I'm not that stupid" Hoggle nervously laughed.

"But now I have a better idea. I want you to give Vince this" Jareth produced a peach from nowhere and threw it to the dwarf, who caught it "What is it?"

"It's just a present for him, a surprise if you will. It won't harm him of course" Jareth said.

"Good, because I won't harm him" Hoggle nearly shouted.

"Now, Now. It's not like you to lose your head over someone, espically this fine young man" The goblin king smiled, remembering he was just doing the same "Now, give him that or I will tip you into the bog. Got that?"

Hoggle nodded and went to help Vince "Oh and Hoggle, if he kisses you, I'll turn you into a prince...prince of eternal stench" Jareth warned.

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Vince looked around at his surroundings, afraid now his friend has gone. A noise made him turn around and a long limbed red furred creature came out, a long tail coming out his behind.

"Who are you?" Vince asked, nervous but loving the colour of the creature- firey red with streaks of yellow.

"We're Fireys and we just want a good time" About five more of these creatures popped out and started jamming.

" Dont't have no problems, no problems, ain't got no suitcase, no suitcase.

Ain't got no clothes to worry about, ain't got no real estate,

Or jewellery or gold mines to hang me up.

I just throw in my hand, throw in his hand,

With the chilliest bunch in the land.

They don't look much, but they're sure chilly chilly,

They're positively glow glow, huh!

Chilly down with the wild gang, think small with the wild gang,

Bad help with the wild gang, when your thing gets wild.

Chilly down, chilly down with the wild gang, walk tall with the wild gang,

Good times, bad food, when your thing gets wild chilly down, chilly Down"

They did allsorts of things while singing- removing their limbs to mke themselves into other things, using their eyes to play dice. Seriously creeping Vince out, who although was loving the party and song, was trying to find a way out of the forest.

"So when things get too rough, your skin dragging on the ground,

And even down looks up, down looks up.

We can show you a good time, show you a good time,

And we don't charge nothin', nothin' at all.

Just strut your nasty stuff, wiggle in the middle, yeah,

Get the town talking, by God.

Chilly down with the wild gang, think small with the wild gang,

When your thing gets wild, chillt down, chilly down with the wild gang"

One of them leaped on Vince's back and started pulling on his head "Let's take his head off now, it's an ugly head anyway" Vince pulled it off and yanked of it's head, throwing it away. He then took the other creature's heads and threw them as well, then ran for it.

"Hey, you're only meant to throw your own head, that's the rules. Now we get to take your head off!" He heard behind him as he ran. More of the creatures surrounded Vince as he past quickly, only to have his waqy blocked by a wall. He then felt a rope drop next to him and looked up, smiling when he saw Hoggle waving down to him.

Vince made his way up the rope, seeing parts of the firey creatures being throw by him, shouting for him to play with them. He made his way to the top of the wall, and hugged Hoggle close "You saved me, thank you" He then kissed Hoggle on the forehead and a pit on the top of the wall appeared, making them both drop down through it.

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They both landed on a small legde, overlooking a brown-greenish bog with a smell so powerful...

"Where are we?" Vince asked, rubbing his head where he fell.

"This is the bog of eternal stench" Hoggle answered.

"Oh God, it smells like...like..." Vince had to stop what he was saying before he puked.

"It's dosen't matter what it smells like, just don't touch it" Hoggle nearly shouted. Then the ledge crumbled under their weight (dunno how, espically with vince's weight) and they fell, luckily on top of Ludo!

"Ludo, you're back" Vince smiled wrapping his arms around the big creature, Ludo got up from where he fell and saw that Hoggle was underneath him "Smell bad"

Vince nodded in agreement and looked at their surroundings. A large tree was situated by them, with a old, rickety bridge going across the bog "looks like we have to cross to get there, let's go! Vince said.

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Next chapter, a bit small i know lol but i promise lots of slash in the mext chapter from chugirl2526.


	7. Chapter 7

Labyrinth, Boosh Style.

Summery- After Vince annoys him too much with songs from the film 'Labyrinth', Howard finally yells at Vince and tells him to grow up. Vince then wishes the goblins will take him away, which results in Howard's disappearence and a quest to defeat the goblin king. Next in my crossover stories.

Disclaimer- Noel and Julian owns the Boosh, and Jim Henson owns Labyrinth. Lucky sods.

Author's Notes- Vince won't fancy Jareth, Jareth will just fancy Vince instead if that makes any sense lol. quite a kinda big slash scene this chapter yay so i'm expecting lots of reviews now lol i also thought this song was very sweet, so i had to put it in :) very slash like hehe

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Chapter Seven- Didymus and Dreams.

Moving towards the bridge, they were stopped by a small dog-fox creature wearing an eye patch and red and blues clothes. In one of his paws was a small staff "Stop! Stop I say!" It called out, then leaped from behind the giant tree in front of them.

"Come on, we have to get past" Vince said, starting to get woozy from the smell of the bog.

"Without my permission, you shall not get past" It metioned, brandishing his staff like a sword.

"We don't have time, my mate's in danger" Hoggle moved closer to the dog-fox "We have to get out of this smell"

"What smell? I smell nothing. and I live by my sense of smell. The air here is sweet and none of you will pass" He growled, getting annoyed.

Hoggle tried to get past him, only to get whacked in the gut by the staff "Like I said, none shall pass"

Ludo had enough of the smell and lifted the smaller creature in the air by his staff, so Hoggle made good his escape over the bridge "Let go of my staff!" Ludo realesed it, only for it to climb up his back. It sat on the back of his neck and started whacking Ludo with his staff, annoying the huge creature even more. Soon Ludo caught the dog-fox and threw him back to the tree, where he hid inside and poked his head through a hole in the tree.

"Enough, never have I met my match in battle, yet this noble knight has fought me to a stand-still" It called out.

"You alright, Ludo?" Vince asked, staying out the way of the battle "Smell bad" Was all the creature said, meaning he was fine.

"Sir Ludo, I sir Didymus yield to thee. From now on, we're brothers" Ludo gladly helped down Didymus from out the tree "Ludo get brother" Vince couldn't help and smile at the touching scene "Let's go then" They started across the bridge once more, only to be stopped.

"Wait now, my sir. You forgot my scared vow, no one can pass and I must defend this oath to the death" The dog-fox demended.

"Hang on now, let's handle this logically" Vince said, surprising himself "Now, what have you sworn?"

"I have sworn with my life's blood that no one will cross without my permission" Didymus said, proudly.

"Well, can we have permission to cross?" Vince asked, surprising the small guard "Well...I...Yes".

"Thanks" Vince metioned, as he started making his way across the narrow bridge, which was technically a very long plank across the bog "Don't wory, my sir. This bridge has been sturdy for a thousand years" Didymus called out, trying to prove his point by whacking a large rock with his staff, only that made the bridge fall apart. Vince managed to save himself by grabbing a large tree branch above him "Don't worry, I'll save you...somehow"

Ludo then started howling loudly "Brother, how can thee sit there and howl at a time like this?" But he kept howling, but large rocks appeared out of the bog, making stepping stones. Vince smiled as he dropped himself safely onto a larger rock in the middle "That's brilliant Ludo" Then made his way to the othe side where Hoggle was waiting.

"Can thou summon the very rocks, brother?" Ludo smiled and shrugged "Sure, rocks friends" He made his way across the rocks to the other side "Wait for me" Didymus whistled and a sheepdog appeared from behind the large tree "Come on Ambrosious, my loyal steed" Soon they made their way across the bog and the gang was off.

Except Hoggle, who stayed behind a bit and was trying to drop the peach into the bog "I wouldn't do that if I were you!" He could hear Jareth's voice in his mind.

"But I can't give it him" The dwarf sighed sadly and walked quickly to join the others.

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Jareth looked at Howard, who was still in a trance in his room, lying on the huge bed "Is this really what you're looking for Vince? So much trouble over a...strange thing. But soon you'll forget everything when Hoggle gives you my little present" He smiled at his plan and walked back to his throne room.

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The other were walking in another forest (is it me or is there nothing but forests there?) and everyone's stomachs were rumbling.

"Ludo hungary" The huge beast complained, but Vince couldn't help and agree with him "We can't stop now, maybe there's some stuff around here to eat" Truth is, after all the time he spent eating non-stop sugery sweets and saturn juice, he didn't really know any proper food to find and eat in the wild.

"Er...Vince?" He turned to see Hoggle holding out a nice looking peach "Here".

"Thanks mate" Vince took the peach and took a bite out of it, his happy expression fell as he tasted the juice "This tastes strange" He staggered backwards, knowing he'd been drugged "What have you done, Hoggle?"

The dwarf looked in shock "Damn Jareth!" He turned on his heels on ran the other way "And damn me too" Vince walked forwards and collapsed on a tree, staring out into the distance, looking out for something.

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Jareth sat in a window in his throne roome, spinning crystals in his hand. He realesed three crystals, which turned into bubles and sent them towards the forest Vince was in. He smiled softly to himself, knowing his plan was working.

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Vince was sitting down on the dirty ground, not caring if his jeans got filthy. He looked up when he saw three bubbles flying around him, seeing inside the bubbles himself in white and gold robe and in another a couple dancing. Soft music filled the air, as the bubbles came even closer to him.

In the third bubble, he could see a wonderful fancy dress ball. Everyone was wearing dresses and fancy robes, also they were wearing masks. They were dancing to wonderful music and there by a wall, he could see himself standing and waiting for some. The white and gold robes he was wearing fitted him tightly, not leaving much to the imagination, a sparkly diamond tiara sat upon his starightened raven hair.

Everyone was laughing and having a lovely time, but Vince looked worried as he turned around in the room, trying to find what he was looking for. And there, he saw him. Jareth standing in all his glory, wearing his usual black clothing.

'There's such a sad love, deep in your eyes,

A kind of pale jewel, opened and closed within your eyes,

I'll place the sky, within your eyes.

There's such a fooled heart, beating so fast,

In search of new dreams, a love that will last within your heart,

I'll place the moon, within your heart.

Aa the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you,

Every thrill has gone, wasn't too much fun at all,

But I'll be there for you, as the world falls down"

Vince started walking towards him, only for Jareth to disappear so he had to serach for him again. A part of his mind was telling Vince to not follow the goblin king, that he was trouble. But the drug in the peach was making him search for Jareth, to find him and to kiss him, even if he didn't want to.

"It's falling, it's falling down, falling in love.

I'll paint you mornings of gold, I'll spin you valentine evenings,

Though we're strangers till now.

We're choosing a path, between the stars,

I'll lay my love, between the stars.

Aa the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you,

Every thrill has gone, wasn't too much fun at all,

But I'll be there for you, as the world falls down"

Vince spots Jareth again and his breath caught as the goblin king came to him, holding him close by his waist and started dancing with him. He ehld Vince closely, enjoying the feel of the goth's warmth seeping into his body. Jareth placed a hand on Vince's bum and squeezed gently, making the smaller man arch in his touch.

Vince knew this was wrong, but the drug was taking effect of his body, making him forget about his mission in the labyrinth, about Howard and about Jareth being a bad person. He soon let the drug take over as he gave up the battle, as Jareth close the gap between their faces and kissed Vince hard and passionatly, making him moan deeply in his throat. Jareth ran one of his hands though the raven locks and his other hand was roaming around the younger man's thin but nicely built body.

As they spun around gently, they broke apart, their breaths coming out in small pants. Vince notised everyone had stopped dancing and were watching them, but he also saw a clock with 13 numbers on it, the hands saying there was only two hours left until the 13 hours were up. Hiss mind started fighting the drug again, and was winning. he tore himself out of Jareth's arms with disgust and ran towards a wall of the bubble. He grabbed a chair and smashed it through the wall, causing the air to escape and everyone to scream.

He felt himself fall through the wall and through the air, shuddering as he remembered Jareth's lips on his own. He then landed on what seemed to be a lage rubbish pile and fainted.

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There, happy now lol i will be expecting more reviews now, please or else no more of this story will be written hehe (only joking) from chugirl2526.


	8. Chapter 8

Labyrinth, Boosh Style.

Summery- After Vince annoys him too much with songs from the film 'Labyrinth', Howard finally yells at Vince and tells him to grow up. Vince then wishes the goblins will take him away, which results in Howard's disappearence and a quest to defeat the goblin king. Next in my crossover stories.

Disclaimer- Noel and Julian owns the Boosh, and Jim Henson owns Labyrinth. Lucky sods.

Author's Notes- Vince won't fancy Jareth, Jareth will just fancy Vince instead if that makes any sense lol. thanks for all the reviews so far :) also fetures the song 'witin you', another good slash song

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Chapter Eight- The Junk Lady, the Goblin City and Home.

Jareth stormed into his throne room in a rage, smacking goblins upside the head, making them run out in fright. He was so close to maing Vince his, he should have made the drug more powerful, only enough to keep Vince forgetting his mission until the time was up. His rage started to disappear as he remember the softness of the smaller man's lips on his, the way his hips ground into his own as he sqeezed Vince's ass.

Jareth sat on his throne and close his eyes, keeping those memories close to him. But he knew it was only a matter of time before Vince would come for his friend, and he would be ready this time.

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Hoggle was sitting on a rock next to a small river, his head in his hands and in distress "He'll never forgive me! I've lost my only friend, what have I done?"

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Vince woke up after a couple of minutes, he tried to remember what happened to him and how he wound up in a junk heap but nothing came to him.

"Oi, get off my back!" A screechy voice called out from behind him. He leapt up to see an old goblin lady with junk tied on her back "Why don't you watch where you're going, young man?"

"I was looking for something, but I can't remember what" Vince answered, confusion in his eyes.

"You can't look where you're going, if you don't know where you're going" The old hag replied "Maybe you were looking for these?" She held out a pair of black boots with silver heels and silver stitching running up, with stars on the sides.

"Yes, that must have been it, thank you" Vince said, taking them off her and hugging them close.

"Now, why don't you come in here and see if there's anything else you like?" The goblin lady indicated to a old, wooden door and pushed it open. Vince, curious as ever, went inside and found he was back in his room at the flat. He ran over to the bed, layed down on it and closed his eyes. After a few seconds, he opened them again.

_'Must have been a dream, I better see if Naboo and Bollo are back yet' _Vince thought as he went over to his bedroom door, he opened it to reveal the junk lady.

"Better stay in here, there's nothing you want out there" She said, making her way in. Vince hugged his boots closer to him, afraid of the new creature in his room and sat down by his vainty table and watched the old lady.

"Let's see what's in here then? Oh, your Nicky Clark straighteners, very important. And your bottle of goth juice and root booster, better not forget them, and your art set, you love your art set" As she named these, she placed them in Vince's lap. But he was thinking of something more important "I was looking for something, or someone"

Vince then spotted a picture of him and Howard outside this new nightclub where they did one of their gigs. Their arms were around each other's shoulders and both were smiling brightly, this made something click in his mind "What's the matter, dear? Don't you like all your stuff?" The screechy voice called out again, shaking him out of his thoughts.

"Now, now. This is your most prized possesion, isn't it?" She passed him a silver hand mirror with small red, green and blue jewels around the side, on the back was a message which read- 'Happy birthday, electro poof, from Howard".

"Howard...That's who I'm looking for. I have to save my mate" As Vince shouted this out, the walls of his room collapsed and revealed the junk yard outside. He heard voices through a hole behind him "My sir, are you alright?" He smiled as he climbed through the hole and saw Ludo and Sir Didymus witing for him, he hugged them both tightly with joy.

"Where are we?" Vince asked, still smiling dispite their situation.

"Look my sir, over there. The walls to the goblin city" Didymus cried out. They then set off quickly, knowing they don't have much time left, not notising Hoggle behind them, coming to say sorry.

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They got to the gates in record time, a guard in armour was asleep outside, still holding his spear and with the gates open. Sir Didymus automatically started barking and growling, trying to start a fight.

"Ssh, you'll wake the guard and we don't need that right now. We need to get in quietly" Vince whispered, tying to calm his friend down.

"Open up, open up right now! I'll fight them all to the death if they wake up" He whacked the sleeping guard with his staff, not really getting a reaction and keep barking.

"Please, for my sake be quiet" Vince pleaded, making the dog-fox guard give up his own fight "Of course my sir"

They started moving into the city, only for the gates to slam shut in their faces. An imprint of a huge robot came together and started talking "Who goes?"

No one answered, but Didymus started barking and growling again. This made the robot move and grab a huge mace that laid by the wall by the gates, lifting it high. Everyone moved back, only for spikes to shoot up and trap them in the middle. Ambrosious shoot off like a northen bullet, leaving his owner only and trying to call him back.

The robot kept swinging his mace around, nearly hitting everyone who didn't fall to the floor in time. Vince felt this was the end, he'd come so close and then he saw Hoggle running on the wall above the robot and jumped down on top of it. He opened the top and pulled out the goblin steering it and put himself in place of it. He made the robot accidentally whack it's mace into the above wall, trapping it and making it explode. Luckily he got out before it did.

"Hoggle, you alright mate?" Vince asked, going to him and helping him up.

"I ain't pround of myself and I ain't asking to be forgiven. Jareth made me give you that peach, I told you I was a coward and I ain't interested in being friends" The dwarf admitted, looking away.

"I forgive you" Vince said simply, maing Hoggle turn to him in surprize. He could see truth in those deep blue eyes of the goth and smiled "You-you do?"

"And I commend you. Never have I seen such corage, you are indeed valiant, sir Hoggle" Sir Didymus admitted.

"Hoggle and Ludo friends" The huge beast admitted too. Hoggle never felt so loved, even when Vince gave him back his bracelet of jewels.

"Well then, let's get that rat who calls himself Jareth then" They all agreed and made their way in once more (they had to wait until the dog-fox guard got his steed back first, promising him it was safe).

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"Your highness, your highness!" A goblin guard rushed into Jareth's throne room "The young man's here, who ate the peach that made him forget everything. He's with Sir Didymus, the dwarf and the monster and they're making their way to the castle right now"

Jareth shot up in his chair like a shot and glanced at the clock, only an hour to go before all his plans could be ruined "Stop him, hide the prisoner, but don't hurt him. I want him here alive after that hour as gone"

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Inside the city, all was quiet. No-one was about, making the job easy- too easy. Then four lancers came out of no-where, blocking their way and to their sides were goblins manning cannons "Fire when ready" The cannons exploded, sending iron balls toward the group, just missing and destroying a fountian instead.

"Quick this way!" Vince yelled, running down an alleyway with Ludo and Hoggle following him. Didymus stayed behind and stared down the guard, but his steed had other ideas and shot off the other direction "Where are you going? The battle's the other way"

Goblins started pouring out of the castle and houses, wielding armour and weapons. Vince and the others were ducking iron balls and goblins by going through other alleyways.

Didymus however, was having no such luck "Ambrosious, if you don't turn around, I will never feed you again" This got the sheepdogs attention and he stopped and turned around to face the four lancers from before, surrounding them. Didymus stared down the leader and charged forwards, his staff outward and knocking the leader down. He cheered for his victory, but never saw the sign hanging down from a buliding and was whacked into it, making fall off his steed.

"Where Didymus? We have to find him" Vince said, still running down allyways until they came to a large building unlocked "Quick in here!" He and Hoggle got in fine, but Ludo had to stay outside "How's Ludo meant to get in?" Hoggle asked, his question answered as the orange creature opened the side of the house and let himself in, then closing it back behind him. Ludo then found room for himself by removing the roof of one of the towers and poking out of it.

Inside the house, Vince and Hoggle were trying to get rid of the goblins by throwing things at them through holes in the walls "Ludo, call the rocks!" Vince called out, the beast getting the messege and starting roaring.

Meanwhile, Didymus was having trouble trying to get his steed to come out of a house he was hiding in "Unlock this door right now!" He yelled, then turned to see the lancers from before behind him "So, Had enough have you? Throw down your weapons and I'll see your treated fairly" The lancers turned away when they heard banging noises coming from bind the main gates of the city, which opened to reveal many rocks, most large rolling towards them and knocking them down.

The rocks rolled through the city, knocking over many other goblins and destroying cannons. Jareth watched from the window in his throne room at the carnage that was happening, knowing hat he was losing.

Vince, Hoggle and Ludo made their way out of their makeshift fortress and went for the stairs which led to the castle, minding out the way of the rolling rocks "Sir Didymus!" Vince called out, worried for his friend, but his worry was replaced by joy when he saw the guard riding towards them on his faithful-ish sheepdog steed.

They made their way up the stairs and into the castle, walking until they found themselves in the throne room- with no-one in it "He must have gone that way" Vince moaned, pointed to a hallway going off to the side.

"Let's go then" Hoggle said, but was stopped "No, I need to face him alone. It's me he wants, I'm not letting you guys get hurt because of that"

"If that's the way it must be done, then that's the way you must do it" Didymus said wisely "But should you need us..."

"Yes, if you need us..." Hoggle repeated. Vince smiled sadly at his friends "I'll call you, thank you all, I couldn't have done it with you" He hugged them tightly once more before making his way through the hallway.

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When he got to the next room, it confused him throughly. Stairs and archways made it up, but some were sideways, some upside down. He started down some stairs and pasted an archway, then up some more stairs ending up at a dead end ledge. Looking over the edge, he saw Jareth hanging upside down, a smirk on his face.

"How you've turned my world, you precious thing,

You starve and near exhaust me,

Everything I've done, I've done for you!

I move the stars for no one, you've run so long, you've run so far,

Your eyes can be so cruel, just as I can be so cruel,

Though I do beileve in you, yes I do.

Live without your sunlight, love without your heartbeat,

I...I can't live within you"

Jareth disappered, then reappeared again behind Vince a few feet away, then walk through him and scaring him more. Vince ran away down some more stairs away from him, only to get to another dead end ledge, with Jareth appearing again from underneath the ledge.

He held up a crystal and threw it down some stairs where it bounced until it was caught by a still in-trance Howard, shocking Vince "Howard!" He called out, running down more stair and through archways. He could see Howard walking sideways up stairs and standing upside down under ledges. Vince kept climbing higher to get to his friend and his heart almost stopped when he saw Howard standing dangerously near a large hole below him, so he no choice but to jump.

He kept falling and watching in mazement as the room broke into pieces. He landed safely on his feet and saw Jareth appear out of the shadows, now wearing white feathered clothing "Give me bck my friend"

"I have been generous up to now, but I can be cruel" He smirker, moving closer to the smaller man, enjoying his slight fear and anger.

"What have you done that's generous?" Vince spat out, suddenly afraid when he saw the dark look in the goblin king's eyes.

"Everything, everything you wanted I have done. I took your friend away from you when you wanted him gone, I have recorded time, I have turned the world upside down and I did it for you!" Jareth almost yelled, taking pleasure at the flinch Vince gave.

"I have had enough of living up to your expectations and now I want my reward for it" In a flash, he grabbed Vince by his thin waist and crushed his lips againest the smaller mans, not caring if he was struggling. He then pulled down Vince's shirt and bit down hard on the area between his neck and his shoulder, making the goth scream in pain. Jareth licked the redish-blue wound and pulled back in satisfaction "Now you are marked as mine and always will be" He remarked sounding smug.

Vince pushed him away, more anger then ever "I have come for my friend back, you have..."

"Wait!" Jareth stopped him "I'm offering you everything you could want, a kingdom to rule by my side as my life partner. Just love me and fear me, and I will be your slave"

Vince remembered he didn't have much time left and tried to remember how sarah defeated Jareth in the film, then it clicked in his mind "You have no real power over me" The clock chimed as both the hands turned to the 13th number and Jareth started to shrink, his clothes dropping slowly into a heap before turning into an owl and flying off.

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Vince soon found himself back in the front room of the flat, the clock by the tele flashing midnight. He couldn't believe his surruoundings, but remembered his friend upstairs "Howard"

He made his way upstairs and opened the door to Howard's room, flicking on the light and waking him up "Vince? What you doing.." his words were muffled though when the smaller man launched himself at him and held him tightly "Howard, I'm so sorry about before. I shouldn't have kept annoying you"

Howard just held him close and rubbed his back "It's alright. I'm sorry for yelling at you and calling you childish, if you weren't, you'd be kinda boring" Vince gave a giggle before letting him go "I'll leave you to get some more sleep then" He got up to leave for the door.

"You wouldn't believe this crazy dream I had, we were actually in that film and you kept having it off with David bowie" Howard revealed, making his friend laughed nervously "I'd believe you"

He elft and made his way to his own room, looking about to see his possesions still where they were meant to be. He sat in front of his vainty mirror and looked at the bite mark on his shoulder, remembering Jareth's words 'You are marked as mine and always will be'. He shuddered in fear, but remembered he'd defeated the goblin king, he wouldn't be bothering him again.

He looked away for a minute, then back to the mirror to see Ludo sitting on the bed behind him "Goodbye Vince" It called out.

Then Sir Didymus appeared "And remember fair sir, if you need us..." Then he disappeared and Hoggle appeared "Yes, if you need us for any reason at all..."

Vince smiled "But I do need you, all of you, every now and again in my life. I'm not sure why though, not really a reason, just nice to have friends everywhere, normal, strange or magical"

"Well, why didn't you say so?" He turned around to see everyone then gathered around the bed. Ludo, Hoggle, Didymus, the old man with the bird-hat, some of the fireys and some of the goblins, he hugged them all as they started a small party in his room. Vince hoped they weren't making too much noise to wake his best friend, he didn't really want to explain this.

Outside, watching the party though his bedroom window, an owl was pearched on a branch before flying off into the starlit night.

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Finally finish! I would like to thank everyone for all their reviews and ideas, epsically violence4, stars of andromeda and beechwood0708. My next project will be another crossover, only the sequal to 'the mummy boosh' where they get transported into the mummy returns hehe. from chugirl2526.


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